Can There Really Be a Work-Life Balance ?
We live in a time when we are given a lot of expectations than ever before, which comes with many wonderful rewards and opportunities. But time has stayed consistent. We still become capped off at the 24 hour mark each day. With the growing list of expectations and limited time constraint the biggest question to face can be, “How can I do it all?”
As an entrepreneurial mom that list of expectations grows exponentially, and the time continues to split more and more into every pillar in your life. The pressure of being it all for everyone can grow and there gets a point when guilt starts to take over, making it hard to focus wherever you are at. It can start to create beliefs surrounding inadequacy.
What I am going to say may come as a bit of a surprise but stay with me. I promise I will explain. When it comes to trying to take on everything…don’t strive to do it all. The “balanced life” where you are giving to every part of your life equally is a hoax. Trying to meet others expectations, taking on societal pressures, engaging 24/7, checking off every task you desire to complete in every pillar of your life is unrealistic. The guilt a lot of us can feel is forming on unrealistic expectations of ourselves.
You can’t get everything you want, but you can get what you are committed to.
Life will pull us in many directions and requires us to be many things to many people. Getting clear on these two questions can support you on where to put the appropriate amount of attention and love so you know you are pouring it into the places that matter the most.
1. What is critical in your life right now?
This can change through time, but what is it right now? Making a list of all your pillars in life and seeing what ones are in critical need can assist in where to point that attention and love. You cannot give 100% of yourselves 100% of the time to every aspect of your life. You can, however, create mindfulness around what is needed from you and how much of your time you are willing to give it, so that no pillar remains neglected. When one pillar is neglected through time it starts to whither. Which creates a residue that starts to spread out onto the other pillars creating a withering effect onto them as well.
What are your pillars? They are entities that uphold your life and require your responsibility. Such as; Work, school, health, marriage/partnership, children, friendship, community, Self-Care, etc. Taking inventory of your pillars and seeing what one(s) are critical right now of your love and attention and how much of that attention is needed in order for them to be stable and sustained will create an experience of feeling “balanced”. If there is more than one needing your attention, start with two and work your way to the rest. Sometimes in order to get ahead we must first slow down and do what is essential first.
2. What’s your vision for life?
Being a multidimensional woman life can require a lot of you. Being driven at work can make one feel like they are neglecting their life at home with their partner or children. Or when they are with their family they can feel like they are letting others down at work.
Creating a clear vision will require you to look at your life with all pillars in mind and ask yourself, “5 years from now what would the perfect day/week look like for me?”
Making sure your vision is clear in each pillar can help you navigate through the expectations, pressures, and daily to-do lists that life will bring (and it will bring a lot). It will help you sort out what is for you and what is not (at least for the moment). It can support you stepping out of survival mode and into purposefully living. When other’s are also involved in this vision and feel a part of it they too can help be of support throughout so the feeling of being pulled many directions lessens. Also, including your family to create the vision with you cannot only get them to understand where you are it can make them feel like they are a part of it, even when you are living into other pillars of your life that may not directly include them.
Overall, creating a vision for your life that encompasses each pillar and being able to focus on what is critical in each moment within that vision may not bring you a perfectly balanced life. But what it can bring you is stability, sustainability and will thus be a foundation for exponential growth in each pillar. If you want to create more clarity in how this applies in your life, make an appointment for a discovery call at no cost to you. There is a way you can thrive in all pillars.
Much love,
Lauren
